If you only listen to one book, please listen to Positive Psychology by Jane Nelsen. The work is based around the idea that all people, of all ages, respond better in the long term to being listened to and understood, rather than being told. Being respected and educated, rather than being oppressed and punished.
The only problem with Jane Nelsen’s work is that it assumes parents have endless patience available, and that’s where I come in, because I can enable you to acquire endless patience. See here for more information.